Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Are they abusive?

I was rooting through my coat pockets to get rid of any rubbish I may have accumulated over time. I came across a great card I was given at the Million Women Rise protest this year from the Butterfly Foundation. It explains what characteristics are indicative of abuse and what are indicative of a loving partner. I feel that this has to be shared considering that over 90% of people are raped by someone they know, a lot of whom are ex/current partners of the survivor. 
Here are Person A and Person B. See if you can guess which one's which. For this, I removed binary gender pronouns as abusers are never specific to one gender.

Person A
This person...
  • Shouts
  • Sulks
  • Smashes things
  • Glares
  • Calls you names
  • Makes you feel ugly and useless
  • Cuts you off from your friends
  • Stops you from working
  • Never admits when they are wrong
  • Blames you/drink/drugs/stress
  • Turns your children against you
  • Uses the children to control you
  • Never does their share of the housework
  • Never looks after the children
  • Expects sex on demand
  • Controls the finances
  • Threatens or wheedles you to get their way
  • Seduces your friend/siblings/anyone else
  • Expects you to be responsible for their well-being

Person B
This person...
  • Is cheerful
  • Consistent
  • Supportive
  • Tells you you look good
  • Tells you you're competent
  • Uses your name
  • Trusts you
  • Trusts your judgement
  • Welcomes your friends and family
  • Encourages you to be independent
  • Supports your learning, career etc.
  • Admits when they're wrong
  • Is a responsible parent
  • Is an equal parent
  • Does their share of the housework
  • Accepts that you have the right to say 'no' to sex
  • Shares financial responsibility
  • Takes responsibility for their own well-being and happiness
  • In short, acts like a reasonable human being

If you think you may be in an abusive situation seek out those who love & care about you and services such as National Domestic Violence helplineRape Crisis (if applicable) or the Police (if applicable)

23 days to go until the hair goes! Please continue to support this blog and donate if/when you can by going to my JustGiving page and donate by clicking the thick black line by the sum totals.

Lots of love and solidarity <3 XXX

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