Before we begin: what happened at UCSB was absolutely awful and my sympathy is with the families of the people murdered and attacked by someone who had major issues. My thoughts also go to the killer's family as they try to make sense of what he did.
Unless you've been living under a cave recently or simply don't pay attention to the news, you would know that on (date), a man shot and stabbed students at UCSB (University of California, Santa Barbara). His video manifesto was found shortly after. It would appear that the reason behind his attack is his anger that he couldn't get "hot, blonde women" to go out and have sex with him because they'd rather be with "dicks." When he describes the kind of woman he wants, he doesn't identify any trait that would indicate he was interested in women as people. He wanted an object to gratify him and he was angry that women exercised their right to reject him.
You'd think that people would be pointing out the incredibly flawed logic that this killer had and maybe have a proper discussion on how regulations need to be out in place so people like him cannot own fire arms. You would also think it was obvious this guy had issues and that people would come to the conclusion he was I'm the wrong. You'd be mistaken. There has been an outpouring of people saying he is a victim of "society's ideals". I've seen/heard people go "This is what happens when women don't give guys a chance."
I'm not even remotely sorry to say that I completely disagree and am disgusted by this. We are not objects. Women are people - we breathe, we talk, we laugh, we feel. We're flawed and so are you. We are just as human and you expect US to just do your bidding like a thoughtless thing? If you were told by a woman who weren't attracted to that you just had to do what she wanted and fuck her whenever she wants, you wouldn't do it and I guarantee you would complain.
"Women only fall for dickheads, not me." Have you ever considered that maybe it is YOU that is the dickhead? You seem keen to throw people you don't even know under the bus out of pure bitterness. Yes, there we abusive people and yes sometimes people fall for them. That's called having a manipulative charm. I'm not happy about it either as abuse is a serious problem but frankly, that's not the fault of all women everywhere.
Excusing this murderer by blaming women and demanding they "give men a chance" feeds into the myth that men simply can't control themselves and women are just so damn provocative. This is a myth that needs to be seen as such. It is incredibly damaging and is precisely an aspect of the attitude that perpetuates the rape culture and gets women like myself raped. Don't believe me? Explain this: how is saying women rejecting 'nice men' was responsible for the UCSB murders any different from saying that I was responsible for being spiked and awaking whilst being raped?
I'm getting majorly sick of people who constantly moan they're not getting any and blame it entirely on a specific gender and do nothing but bitch about their non-existent sex lives. Here's a tip: stop moaning constantly, get out there and just be a good person. Different strokes for different folks: I may not find you attractive but someone else may find you the most beautiful specimen on the planet. If you don't find anyone it's not the end of the world. There are far worse things to endure than not getting laid like losing a loved one, being evicted from your home or being forced into an act you do not consent to. Have a bit of perspective.
This isn't what happens when you "don't give men a chance." This is what happens when society treat women like fuck objects and act like its their right to do so. It's not my problem if the facts cannot be faced. I don't owe you.
I now only have 18 days to go till I cut off/shave off all my hair in aid of Rape Crisis. I am now under £200 away from reaching my target. If you can, please donate to my JustGiving page. All proceeds go to Rape Crisis.
Lots of love and solidarity. Always <3 XXX